just back up before i snap ...

So, university is tougher than I expected. I'm finding it difficult to keep up with the reading load that goes with my courses. I knew there would be a lot of reading, but I didn't realise how much spare time I wouldn't have. It keeps piling up on me. I just get caught back up and a whole lot more comes crashing down. I've resorted to finding summaries for the well-known texts to read first to try and make sure that even if I don't get the entire article finished, I know what it's about.

I really need to manage my time better ... or get a time turner. That would help a lot. It's seeming lately like there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and have a decent night's sleep. It seems like to get good grades, I'm either going to have to sacrifice my social life completely or never sleep again. I'm not quite sure which option is less appealling, to be honest.

I'm thinking about enrolling in first year courses again next year if my marks aren't as good as they should be. At least that way, I'll know that I know what I'm in for and I'll probably be able to manage better. But that seems like such a waste of a year. I'm so confused! If I don't get into second year law, I really have no clue what I want to do and that is really worrying me.

And to be quite honest, my law course is boring me to death. The lectures I enjoy are few and far between and because of the late lecture time, I find I can't concentrate properly in there; which cannot be a good sign for my final mark. It sort of makes me question if I'm even doing the right course if it's boring me to death the way it is. I'm just really hoping it picks up soon- otherwise I'm in trouble.

Looks like I'm having no social life. I like sleep too much to give it up. How exciting the next few years are going to be: lectures, tutorials, essays, study, reading, sleep. Lather, rinse and repeat. Fml.

chasing the ghost of a good thing ...

For every letter studylink sends, an angel dies.

Shame on you, studylink.



On the upside, my student loan came through and my payments start on March 24, which is super awesome! The only thing left is to get a job and catch up on my reading.

i wish you were here tonight with me ...

So as the second week of University draws to a close, I'm asking myself why the hell I'm doing this. The reading load is insane to keep up with. I had 113 pages to read for tomorrow. How the frogmint is that reasonable?  I already have my first assignment and it's so different to high school even just in how to source and what you use for the essay content.

I'm really digging the freedom of University, but I'm going to have to really motivate myself to go to class every day and stuff. The 1 hour + travel time either way makes me doubt the helpfullness of actually attending classes. =.=

I'm not quite comfortable with where all of my classes are yet, but I'm sure I'll get there in a couple of weeks time. I've had every single class and tutorial for this semester, except my law tutorial which is the week after next on Tuesday. Sort of apprehensive, but I'm sure it'll be just fine.

I really need a job. For serious. I have no money and no way of making any money without prostituting myself- which I expect a lot of people would frown upon, that and it's just out of the question- unless I go into debt ... I might start considering it then. Perhaps. At a push. xD

I suppose being a woman of the night may possibly have its benefits. I wonder if I'll get a dental plan ...

and i'm drowning you out ...

So, university started on Monday. Thursday is my only free day this week and as of next week, I will have no free days at all. Bummer.

I'm taking four papers this semester: law, philosophy, politics and biological anthropology. Anthropology is going to be interesting, I think. But it will be pretty sciencey. More so than I expected, I think. But, it should be awesome all the same. My lecturer seems okay, she doesn't stand out but she seems pretty okay- though she doesn't make a lecture outline available at all, which is a pain.

My law lecturer is really nice. She doesn't talk too pretentiously for beginners to understand, which is awesome and she has cool powerpoints ;3 

My philosophy lecturer is a bit .. well, she sticks almost exactly to the lecture notes in our coursebook, so it's just her reading from the page really. That doesn't really work for me, but hopefully it will pick up soon.

Politics is pretty awesome. I know a bunch of people in there from MAGS, so that's cool. My lecturer seems pretty awesome. We didn't really get into learning stuff in the first lecture, but she seems like she explains things pretty thoroughly, which is cool. She seems the most approachable out of all of my lecturers ... and she kind of looks like Prof. Trelawney xD

I could have admittedly made a better job of my timetable this semester. I have too many gaps between lectures which is a real pain. But I suppose when I start getting assignments and stuff, I can use that time to work on them in the library or something, rather than trying to do it at home and getting distracted. Which I would.

All things considered, my first week has been pretty awesome so far. One day left to go and I haven't gotten lost yet, which is an achievement for me.

darkest day ...

The earthquake in Christchurch today has really shaken me. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone that has been affected by this horrific disaster. The death toll stands at 65 right now, I hope that those who have and those that will be killed can rest in peace.

warm me up and breathe me ...

So, I spent a few hours cleaning out my wardrobe today. Actually, I'm still not finished really. I've got piles of folded clothes all over the living room floor because it's just too hot to sit upstairs.

It looks like I'm giving away just about half of what was in my wardrobe. Hopefully someone else can get some wear out if because I certainly haven't been. So, when I drop off my stuff at the Salvation Army or wherever, I'll probably buy some cute vintage statement pieces. If they have anything good.

I'm slowly thinning out, building up and organising my wardrobe for university- which can't be anything but good.

lips like morphine ...

i want to feel a kiss just crush me and break me down. knock me out. cause i've waited for all my life. laughing somewhere far beyond buds and berries. and i find myself in wonderland. do you feel her running through your veins. she will always lie forever. and i swear to you on everything i am, and i dedicate to you all that i have, and i promise you that i'll stand right by your side, forever and always until the day i die. don't think we don't see your scars. are you afraid of who you are. imagination baby can take you far, don't be afraid to come off slightly bizarre. turn into something, oh put on something black. sexy say yeah. call me over just like i am too much. get ready to leave. running through the monsoon. rette mich. because the dj got us falling in love again. who took the bomp. and i find myself in solitude. are you hanging by a thread or swinging from the rope. this life starts with a heartbeat and it's a beat, beat, beat, beat beating me down. with rough hands and sore eyes. i am home but just for tonight. we are, we are. the youth of the nation. break my fall. show your colours.