i want you to take over control ...

I haven't posted in months and to be completely honest, it's because I got lazy. I couldn't be bothered to log on and think about something to write. There was so much going on in my head and nothing I felt like I could articulate.

Today is the first day of my second semester final exams. I have archaeology today and I'll be surprised if I pass. Actually, the only thing I'm sort of confident about is Art History. My motivation has just gone for working hard because right now, I hate what I'm doing.

I thought and though about what I wanted to do next year, tried to figure out if property was the best way for me given that my math skills aren't really up to university standard, and other such things. And finally, I decided on teaching. I hopefully start my teaching degree in February specialising in Primary education, depending on if I get in- on academic grounds, I don't see that being a problem, given that I got into the most competitive degree program at university, but my personal expression might not be a strong as some of the other people applying.

I'm feeling a little bit trapped these days. I want to get out and do things and enjoy my life and all I seem to do is sit around being demotivated by how far behind I'm falling at university, how many assignments I have to do and how much studying I need to get done, but realistically won't.

I need a break.

The city is burning, the tide is turning ...

So I'm almost perpetually exhausted these days. I'm working 4 days a week, at university 5 days a week and I rarely get a day just for myself. It's starting to make me sick too, I've been getting more migraines and general sickiness and ick.

But anyway, I'm onto my second semester at University now, so that's pretty exciting. Archaeology, Art History, Philosophy and Politics are my classes this semester. Not all that different from last time but, as you may have noticed- no Law classes. I've finally decided to drop my Law degree and pick up a Property degree at the beginning of next year. I'm pretty excited about that. It's more what I think I'll want to do after University, but the first year is mainly Math and Economics and Business-type classes, so I'm a little worried I won't do so well on that. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess.

Another thing I notice. Now that I'm getting paid, I actually have less money than I did before. I'm spending so much money without even realising it- I really need to get a handle on that. All quick sharp-like.

Anyway, I have stuff to do. Book chapters to review, lunch to eat and work to go to.


Will you still hold me when you see what I have done? Will you still kiss me the same?  ♥

maybe it's time your pacific coast eyes come back home ...

So, this is my first post in about a month.

In that time, I've moved away from home and gotten a job. I'm actually really excited. At first, it felt like moving out was a huge mistake, that's everything was so difficult and over-whelming. But now, I'm actually really happy about it. I start work in two days, my first four shifts are just training shifts but after that I'm on to the real work ;D

My final exam for semester one is on Saturday, so I'm real excited for that to be done and over with. After that, I'm free from university til the 18th of July. A break will be really nice with the stress over the past few weeks.

I've moved around my second semester now too, so I'm planning on taking, art history, anthropology, politics and philosophy. I'm dropping my law degree and starting a Property / Arts conjoint in 2012. It feels kind of like a waste of a year, but I suppose it can't really be helped.

tears of snow-white sorrow ...

Why is it that everything is so confusing?

You think you've figured out what you want to do with your life, and then it all goes to hell. It calls for a change of plan but you know fuck all about what to change, or what to change it to.

You think you've figured out how you feel about everything and then it all changes and you realise you're in way deeper than you ever imagined you would be.


Say your goodbyes, pacific coast eyes ... ♥



P.S.  May the Fourth be with you. ;3 

i can't dream without you ...

when you close your eyes and go to sleep tonight,
i'll be right outside your door,
dreams will come and they'll take you away,
let them bring you back to me

and tomorrow when you wake i'll be next to you,
the protection from the day,
when the tears fall down your face like morning dew,
i'll be there to put a smile on your face,
and i'll say

i don't wanna live this life without you,
i don't wanna spend the night without you,
i don't wanna know what it's like,
i can't dream without you.
i can't dream without you.

let your fire burn bright for the world to see,
you are the better part of me
when you hold my hand i swear that i believe,
i'm living in my wildest dreams

and i see

i don't wanna live this life without you,
i don't wanna spend the night without you,
i don't wanna know what it's like,
i can't dream without you.
i can't dream without you.

flowers for your hair,
rainbows for your eyes to see,
your dreams are everywhere,
to carry you away from me,
away from me someday,
away from me someday

i don't wanna live this life without you,
i don't wanna spend the night without you,
i don't wanna know what it's like,
i can't dream without you.

i don't wanna live this life without you,
i don't wanna spend the night without you,
i don't wanna know what it's like,
i can't dream without you.


♥

please come back where you belong ...

Well, today was the first treatment of my tattoo removal. It hurt like a mother fucker. I'm dreading going back in 6 weeks time. And I am officially broke. I just spent all of my money on 8-for-the-price-of-6 tattoo removal treatments, a new pair of boots, a lovely top that was 50% off on sale and a gorgeous fitted blazer- it has the most divine lining. In any case, I have no money.  

The stupid dressing on my tattoo right now is driving my insane because it's stuck to my hair (because the tattoo is on the back of my neck) and I really want to take it off ... but I can't.

I've also got about 10 mosquito bites from waiting outside my house the other day for over an hour when I forgot my keys. One of which has turned into a lovely raised patch of bumps and itchy.   Yuck.

Did I mention, fml?

and you'll never find it if you're looking for it ...

So the stress migraines are back. So far I've only missed out on a week but I can see it becoming a problem.

I've just finished writing a Philosophy essay which is due tomorrow. So that's a huge relief but I'm so awake that even though I have zero energy, I can't sleep. My mind is focused on everything I have to do tomorrow and ugh. Which reminds me- I got a new Philosophy lecturer today. He's so much better than the lady I had before. He's interesting and his lectures are quite fast-paced which is good for me otherwise I lose concentration. Score.

On the upside, my kitten is lying in the most adorable way ever right now. She's half under my bed with her back legs sticking out- curled into a ball with her head upside down. Purring away in her sleep. It's quite adorable.

My other cat is starting to look old and worn around the face now, which is worrying me because I would be absolutely crushed if anything happened to him. I love him and he's my baby and he can't get old >.<  Plzkthnx. Nor can Maxx. He's starting to get all .. moody and old and quiet. He used to act like such a puppy, it's a bit of a worry.

Too many things are changing at once. >.<

Too much stress.